Loving Others
I agree with Fromm that love is a way of living, not just a feeling towards a particular person. In order to live a valuable, meaningful, and productive life, we must learn to improve our relationships with people by showing respect, and care. These people include family, friends, significant other, and even new acquaintances that we meet everyday. You may wonder what’s the point? These strangers are people that you may never run into again in your lifetime, so why should you put up the effort? It would be devastating if every one had this same thought. I believe caring and loving others is what makes life truly productive. I saw this in a man who helped my sister and I when we had a flat tire. This man, who was a stranger, took time out of his busy life to help someone that he didn’t know, and didn’t expect anything in return. Our single mother had raised us, and since we didn’t have any man in the house, no one had taught us things like changing a flat tire.
I understand why it’s so important, and even necessary to love others. In fact, it’s the key to long-term happiness and personal fulfillment. Love gives us a purpose in life, something that gets us out of bed and makes us look forward to the day. As a result, I believe that purpose can defeat depression that so often overshadows so many people. Last weekend, I went to a funeral of my boyfriend’s coworker, who suffered from depression and had in fact committed suicide. I wonder how people can even have the courage to end their lives since the number one fear in life is often times death? This shows that we as human beings are more powerful than we actually think. We are capable of choosing our own destiny, no matter how lost we may be. Fromm does not provide a specific roadmap to the promising land because we all must experience our own journey. This journey is like a collection of stories in a book that make our lives truly unique.
Love must be unselfish. If you only care about yourself and your own selfish needs, then you will live a lonely life. Fromm talks about loving others, and caring for those relationships because people in our daily lives are those that truly make a difference. Money and material things can briing power, but not long-term happiness. I believe Fromm’s definition of love is being a giver, not just a consumer. People who consume too much in life become spoiled, wasteful, and unappreciative. Those who are full of appreciation tend to value things more. This relates to my boyfriend who grew up in a poor village in China. Having to work hard everyday in the field, and earn little money gives him a great sense of appreciation for what he has today. I watch in amazement as his mom takes the water she previously used to clean the vegetables out to water the garden. To be respectful, and conscientious in our human relations should be like the caring enough not to waste water and appreciate what we have.
Some people who lack appreciation and value towards their relationship with people, ultimately lose their relationships at home. I believe that failed marriages are not due to chance of falling in love and eventually falling out of it. Instead, it’s the everyday sense of appreciation, respect, and value towards your relationship that will have a long-term impact. I’m not an expert when it comes to relationships, but I believe in common sense. Why do most people fall in love in the first place? That’s the time when you appreciate, value, and respect the person most. This is also known as the “honeymoon phase.” So why do people fall out of love? Perhaps this is due to lacking appreciation, value, and respect towards that person. I grew up in a broken family, witnessed lots of failed marriages, but also some good marriages too. Growing up in a donut shop, I met a lot of older couples that have been married for over forty years. I can see that they still treat each other with respect, care, and love even after all these years. Some people may fall out of love, looking for that “feeling” again. Like Fromm mentions, love is a way of living, not just a feeling. That’s why it’s important to cherish your relationships, and take some time off regularly to spend time with the ones you love.
