Happiness

Happiness

One quote from “Building Steam With a Grain of Salt” by DJ Shadow was expressing oneself, being a student, and also a teacher.  I think that’s what life is about, receiving and at the same time giving back.  As a student, you receive knowledge and wisdom about things you never knew.  Applying that knowledge, contribution to society, and to others, can make a big difference.  Making a contribution to others instead of being the sole beneficiary is what makes life more valuable and meaningful.  As a student, I am still learning.  However, I know that I can’t just be a student forever and not a teacher because that would be a selfish thing since I am obtaining all the knowledge and my capabilities to myself.  At the same time, one can never give up being a student because life is about learning and growing.  Even when times can be especially challenging and very frustrating, life always has a lesson to be learned from.  Also, I believe mistakes are essential to making improvements in our lives.

Constantly thinking about things greater than ourselves will bring happiness, and a bright future.  I believe the more lives you can impact, the more wealth you can achieve, but wealth doesn’t have to be money.  A wealthy person, in my opinion, is someone who is proud of all the positive impact that they have done for others.  For me, I don’t want to be caught up in the same daily routine, one day look at the mirror, and wonder where I have wasted all my youth.  Instead, I would like to recognize my face, and be proud of all the wrinkles I have for all the years of achievement and living a fulfilling life.  I, too, would want to live a life free to express myself, never holding back, and achieve my own dreams. 

Escaping the Cave

                                                             Escaping the Cave




            In the movie “Groundhog Day,” Phil was a self-centered man who couldn’t care less about anyone except himself. Although he boasted arrogant confidence to his coworkers and everyone else around him, deep inside Phil was living in a shadow. He was an unhappy person with little excitement for life. Also, Phil lacked kindness and respect for people. While his cameraman and producer stayed at a modest hotel, Phil stayed at a nice bed and breakfast inn. Despising his job as a weatherman, Phil was on the verge of quitting his job. In fact, Phil regarded his job as ridiculous and an embarrassment. The shadow that surrounded Phil was his lack of purpose in life. As a result, Phil was a lonely and bitter man stuck in a cave without any true friends.



               When power is placed in a person’s hands, true character becomes unraveled. Magically, Groundhog Day becomes a daily repeated cycle. Phil’s self-centered character is revealed by the choices he makes. Accustomed to living in his shadow, Phil suddenly feels empowered and quickly takes advantage of the situation. Due to the lack of consequences, Phil makes decisions that reflect his self-centered character. Without consideration for others, he pursues all the things that he believes will make him happy. Instead, Phil is left with short-term achievements and discovers that he can’t have everything he wants.



            Phil leaves the cave with his shadow following not too far behind. At first, he is full of contentment as he lives his life fearlessly and without discipline. Phil steals money, takes advantage of women by luring them to bed, and disregards his own health. However, he realizes that even his newfound power cannot give him the one thing missing in is life, which is true love. When Phil incessantly fails to take advantage of Rita, his producer, and material things no longer makes him happy, Phil finds himself shrouded in his bitter shadow again.



              Once Phil discovers that money and material things can’t provide happiness to his life, he becomes depressed and even suicidal. However, Phil begins to see the light from the cave when he finds that there are more important things than just caring about him self. By helping others, embracing art and music, and truly caring for Rita, Phil discerns true happiness that he had never felt before. The message about the path of enlightenment is transition from selfishness to selflessness. Phil was able to see the light from the cave because he was able to break away from his old self-centered character by caring about people. There are many financially rich people that live poor lives. If money and power are stripped, then all that’s left is what truly remains.

Beyond the Shadows

Beyond the Shadows

             When I was a child, I always felt like I was in the shadows of my parents. My sister and I grew up in the donut shop owned by my father. Although there were many happy memories, there were also unpleasant ones as well. Both of my parents struggled to make ends meet since the business reaped little profits. The good thing about owning a business is having the freedom to have your children around. However, instead of spending happy family times together, I would see my parents constantly arguing everyday.



                  At the time I couldn’t understand why my parents were always fighting. After all, I was only a child. Looking back, I now understand how tough their lives were. Maybe I wasn’t the only one lost in a shadow, but perhaps both my parents were stuck too. Imagine a life of not being able to have dreams. Even though he never told me, I know my dad’s dream was to have a successful business, and a happy family. However, life doesn’t always grant all your wishes, and sometimes you just have to make a sacrifice. My dad was living in an illusion, but little did he know he would soon be awakened by reality.



                 Not long after my seventh birthday, my mom had filed for divorced. I was so used to seeing both my parents argue, but I never thought that our family would be broken. I knew from then on my life was about to take on a dramatic change. If I could have it my way, I would’ve liked to grow up with my elementary friends, and have a united family. Instead, I had to help my mom and sister pack our belongings, and watch my dad stand on the driveway as our truck drove further and further from everything I had known up until then.



                   Things didn’t get any better after we moved to a much larger city. In fact, I felt more and more buried into a deep a shadow that I could not escape. One of the most challenging moments of my life was when my mom had a new boyfriend. It wasn’t the boyfriend that was the challenge; he had a daughter named Lina who was born with Down syndrome. Being only ten years old, I didn’t have the wisdom or full understanding of how to deal with such a person. Lina would steal my belongings or break them, and all I could do was to bite my tongue because no matter what I said, Lina’s disadvantage was used as an advantage. At the end of the arguments, Lina was special so she always had her way and I had to get used to it. Now I look back and I can’t agree more. I was such a selfish, ignorant child.



                I often wondered why my life had to be different from others. The stress at home lingered inside of me even when I was at school. The kids would socialize in large groups, and I would see how happy their faces were as they laughed and chatted among themselves. Unlike myself, it seemed as though they didn’t have a care in the world. Why couldn’t I laugh so hard until I had a stomachache? I simply wanted to be happy, but with all the fights, arguments, and turmoil at home, I found it difficult to have motivation, or do well in school.



                  The relationship my mom had with her boyfriend had been difficult, and even her patience had run out. The best thing was when we moved out. I knew that was a place that I could never call home. As I grew older, I wanted to have more understanding about people with disabilities. In essence, I was climbing through the tunnel of the cave towards the light. During high school, I volunteered to work in a class of students with mental disabilities. All the guilt and regret from fighting with Lina heavily resided in my heart, but from trying to understand other people with Down syndrome, I was freeing myself from the guilt. This was how I found the light out of darkness.



                There’s no doubt in my heart that both my parents love my sister and me unconditionally, and that they’ve always wanted what was best for us. Unfortunately, children usually don’t know when they are in a bad environment nor how to communicate effectively.  Also, children usually can't control who they must live with.  The true light that I discovered was when I realized the fact that I can’t change the past and live a life of regret and sorrow. I have come to find that the only way to change is by understanding, and learning more from my mistakes. This is connected to truth and belief because my belief has become my truth. The truth really has set me free. Without the times I’d spent in the cave, I wouldn’t have learned to embrace patience nor open my heart to life.

Finding Truth

Finding Truth

           After I had read the truth quote by Robert Frost, I began to think about the difference between the meanings of truth and belief. In my opinion, truth is a result of a belief that has essentially moved from the head to the heart. When a belief is solely ingrained in the mind, changing that belief can be easy. For example, my belief may be that my friend is a good person. I believe that is true because this certain friend has always treated me with kindness and respect. However, if one day I see my friend taking money from my wallet, I would undoubtedly question my own belief.

           Once a belief enters your heart, however, all doubts become eliminated, leaving unyielding truth. I believe this is what Robert Frost meant about not abandoning a belief just because it may no longer seem to be true. Many other people are entitled to their own beliefs, but often times this may obscure your own belief. When I was in elementary school, I desperately wanted to be on the girls’ basketball team. I shared this yearning with my group of friends, but instead of receiving words of encouragement, I was faced with ambiguity due to my short stature and Asian race. At that moment, my dream was like a fragile mirror, and I could feel the torment of glass shattering, as no one seemed to believe that I was capable of making the team.

              When Robert Frost wrote, “Cling to it long enough and….it will turn true again,” I thought of two ways that I could have handled the situation. On one hand, I could have capitulated to my negative friends’ belief that I was incapable of making the girls’ basketball team. Alternatively, I could protect my hope, belief, and prove them wrong. I decided to devote myself towards the latter. For many weeks before the team tryout, I practiced for many hours shooting the ball and playing with other kids at the park. After all the sweat, scrapes on my knees from falling, and relentless hard work, my confidence grew from a flickering flame into a blazing fire. Instead of merely possessing the belief that I could make the team, I began to know that I was going to make the team. My belief had transformed into an unwavering truth. In fact, that was the moment my belief went from my head to my heart, and no matter what anyone else believed, I could not be shaken. Not only did I make the team, but I also became the team captain. It was one of the proudest and most unforgettable moments of my life.